The World Is Flat.

Okay, I give up. The world is flat. There is no fiscal cliff looming over us or under us because there are no cliffs. The fiscal world is also flat. Therefore we do not need many of the services that the government has been trying to provide for us. Many government jobs are simply unnecessary and can be eliminated. I am ready to agree and would nominate the members of the House and Senate for that honor.

Time is much slower than we thought. Even though the Earth is billions of years old and we have evidence of life on the planet millions of years ago, authorities tell us life on Earth was created only six thousand years ago. The discrepancy, I assume, is caused by slow time.

I used to believe that my God lived all around me and in me, but Congress set me straight on that. According to the new Pledge of Allegiance that replaced the one I was born under, this nation is "under God." I'm not quite sure how Congress knows this. Such knowledge doesn't seem to be one of the qualifications for office. But there it is.

The citizens of Egypt seem to be in a similar quandary. Their new government is telling them that Shariyah law is the new law of their nation. The problem is that many of those citizens, including members of the judiciary, do not know Shariyah law. I hope they are fast learners. Or that time is slow.

Our local equivalent of Shariyah law is called the Constitution. I learned in school that it is a very wise document even though it, like the Pledge of Allegiance, has occasionally required amendment. The Constitution originally only allowed white males, called the militia, to vote and own guns. Now the voters, the militia and the guns have changed, and so has the Constitution. But the world is still flat.